TRAIN OF NEW YEAR THOUGHTS

Spending New Year's Eve with my family has been a tradition (not that I could go to New York or elsewhere). Heh. But being with them makes everything a lot easier particularly because we are family. We have to stick together for survival. The family I have is my home. They are the most beautiful extension of God's love. A manifestation that I am more than blessed to even exist in this cruel world.

But anyway, happy new year! 2015 is a wrap! Now, I get to go back to studying and ace my final semester in college. My fingers are crossed, hope at its peak - I declare I will graduate and pass the CPA Licensure Examination this year (utang na loob, gusto ko nang grumadweyt)! Too much enthusiasm, I must say. But it's all I got since I honestly don't know what to expect this year. 2015 has been great (and I mean really, really great), but I haven't got a clue about this year. All I know is that I have to get by this semester and do well in my review classes after graduation and pass the board exam. It sounds pretty simple but the details in between these plans are well... pretty unknown. If I'm going to explain how my brain works when it overthinks, this post would take forever to publish. But since I just want to vent out my thoughts, let's stick to the shorter version.

So, what to do when you're expecting? Have discipline. That's right. If I could have ten sacks of discipline this year, and the same amount of motivation, please, that would be great. But considering my attitude and personality, I can actually change my decision right about the time I'm about to do something. I am so inconsistent. So, I might as well change that, too.

But will it be enough, though? We'll see. I just hope everything goes well this year. If it doesn't, I hope I could have the courage and strength to go through it.

"How does one become a butterfly?" She asked.
"You must want to fly so much, you're willing to give up being a caterpillar." 
-T. Paulus

 

PIECING IT TOGETHER

I was kind of excited (sorry, very excited) to once again come back here and share some of my totally awesome random thoughts. Haha. Just kidding. It's been a while, though. It's been a while since I shared the same space with awesome, awesome bloggers and it feels so new to me. Like I'm posting here for the first time again.

But that really is the whole point of why I'm writing now. I have reverted all my posts to draft from 2009 to date. I'm basically starting over. This isn't a regular thing though. I just wanted to welcome 2016 by keeping my 'past' thoughts to myself. They are a part of me, yes, but it isn't so wrong to give myself a little room for moving on, right? Like, 70% of my past posts are sad and unfortunate, anyway. My thoughts then, were influenced by the darkest force I could have ever encountered. Hahaha jk. But I'm okay now. Super.

2015 in a nutshell.

Time really is fleeting. One day you wake up all miserable and tired, the next, you're already feeling better and set to face another day. That's what actually happened to me. I never thought I could feel so alive again. A lot of things have changed to be honest, and the moment I realized that, I couldn't be any happier. Because the change that occurred, made me see how wonderful it is to be surrounded by people who actually cared. Well, maybe they did care right from the start, I just didn't see it because I was looking at the wrongest place. This year taught me to value what I have, to always remember that the only person I need to compete with is myself, and to strengthen the relationship I have with the people around me (i.e.family and friends).

I wanna thank them all for giving me a thousand reasons to be happy everyday. And that's even an understatement compared to what I actually feel about them. Every freaking day, I grow more in love with life. How they can understand me, and stick with me through whatever is just way beyond my comprehension. It's just gold.

2015 has been amazing. I am grateful. I am happy. I am thrilled. Thrilled to welcome 2016 and look forward to what's about to come.

...For now, let me just say I know I mean something to myself. -Julie Wesenberg